Self-image and Success

One of the funniest things about doing what you want to do and pursuing your goals and find yourself in a position of success is that often, the only thing stopping you from getting it are your own insecurities.

As humans, we have fears, self-esteem issues and insecurities, so…what can we do about it?

Once I read that we are born with 2 fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud voices. Those are the only natural real fears we are supposed to have. As we grow up, our environment creates more insecurities that we suck in, drink and normalise.

Which fears can stop us from believing we can achieve something?

There are lots of them: “I don’t have much money”, “I don’t have the knowledge”, “I come from a poor family”, “I am not smart enough”, “I am just a loser”, “I have bad luck”, “I am not good enough”…

There are millions of reasons that can lead us to have a low self-esteem and issues when it comes to believing in yourself. So, what do we do once we have recognized this fears?

If you get in the London underground, you will hear this voice through the speaker encouraging people to speak out if they see something suspicious. It says, “see it, say it, sort it”.

I believe we can use the same strategy: “identity, recognise, sort it”.

Once you realize where do your fears come from, you can do several things, from reading about people with the same problem who became successful, trying to identify the moments where the fears appear and make a strategy to face those moments in a conscious way and try to sort it. In order to improve the way we see ourselves it’s extremely important for our wellbeing and happiness. Now… what’s going to happen with your goals in the meantime? Should you wait until you have solved your own monsters before working on your goals?

No! It can take you years to solve your insecurities and fears, and the truth is, thinking about them too much is not going to help you get anything in life.

If you are insecure because you don’t have much money, keep working and saving while you study and take the first steps in whatever you have to do.

The problem never comes with insecurities or fears, it often comes with the fact that we are used to seeing successful people showing up their perfect lives and their amazing personalities, they always look fit, happy, self-confident and with the right mindset. In fact, last week, a co-worker sent us a link with the supposed daily routine Mark Wahlberg follows every day. I you are curious and wants to read it, you will find out things like “waking up at 2:30 a.m”, “workout at 3:40 a.m”, “family time”, “Cryo Chamber recovery” (what the hell is that?)…etc. The routine is so insane it’s hard to believe you can do it for a long time.

This drives us to several thoughts. I could never wake up at 2:30 a.m, I don’t have the motivation he has, furthermore, I can’t achieve success. “I don’t work out every single day, furthermore, I am not supposed to get successful, or, “I don’t have the money to do the cryotherapy show, so…

It’s true that trying to improve the self can often be related to achieving success. However, both terms are not always linked.

In the book “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”, the writer was talking about a famous novelist. Apparently, the successful Charles Bukowski came from a miserable environment. A family with a violent dad, alcohol issues all his life and many other problems. He loved writing, and that’s what he did, he had a job in a post office that he hated and quit after a few years of unhappiness. However, all the time he was unhappy, he would just keep writing. He loved what he was doing and kept doing it all the way. To end up selling millions of books and making a ton of money. And after making all this, he kept drinking and fighting his past. He was depressed and didn’t try to change it.

So, if you don’t have the motivation to work out every day, you can still work for your own goal (as long as your goal is not being a swimming champion). You can still wake up and study about the business you want to create or search for information about the stocks you want to buy.

So what is the moral of the story? Do it!

I am sorry if it sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth, just keep moving. And it is fine if you feel insecurities or frustration, as long as you don’t get stuck on the same situation that makes you unhappy, you will move on.

You don’t need to wake up at 2:30 a.m. You don’t need to be in love with yourself and you don’t need to come from a great environment to keep moving and believing that with hard work and persistence, your situation will improve in the future.