Self-Growth vs Adulthood, The Biggest Trap You Can Fall Into

As kids, we get used to looking up to adults.

We get used to seeing them as something superior and wiser than us. If an adult announced that some politician was moral, we would believe him and if a different adult familiar to us told us that said diplomat was a bad person, we would instantly believe him too.

And because we were kids, we were unconsciously aware of our lack of understanding of the world. Also, some other people who are closer to us, like our parents, got this same benefit as other adults did. We would believe our parents over our teachers and our teacher over any random stranger chatting at the Supermarket generally.

We took adults’ knowledge for granted because they had been alive, growing, learning and living for a longer time. They were an active part of the society and they knew how to do seemingly extraordinary things like buying a house, drive and do all those things that required to be an adult.

Nevertheless, we were honest. When we didn´t know something, we would simply say “I don’t know” and if there was a contradiction in our lives, we would strive to figure out and sort it out. That often led us to uncertainty because the adult’s world had so many contradictions and faults that we were unable to understand. So we just swallow them down like paracetamol tablets. Uncomfortable, but once inside us, easy to forget about.

We grew up and many of those contradictions were still there.

There wasn’t a light at the end of the obscure tunnel, nothing that would explain what “the adults” couldn’t explain. These errors in the world were, in fact, impossible to understand and the only ones that created them were, in fact, the same adults. Nobody told us that everything was just a show.

Adults don’t have much more knowledge of the world than a kid has. Of course, they know how to do taxes and which food is healthier, but once we become old enough, we realize how crazy the world is. We see the world from a different perspective.

Adults were not smarter, they just had their own personal theories. Some of which were the outcome of personal fears and insecurities, and others were products of what was told by the TV and newspapers.

If you understand how to implement life’s experiences and get the best out of them, your negative experiences won’t take over your brain and your life decisions. If you are not careful, your choices could end up being the result of your frustrations, and your attitude towards life, the reflection of your insecurities.

But nobody warned us!

Maybe this is because most people are actually not aware of it. They might think they know, but maybe it’s not the case. As an example, a few weeks ago, a friend who is looking for a new job to leave her current company told me how unhappy she felt during working hours lately. Her job implied talking to people from different departments in the company. She expressed that she wasn’t growing professionally most of the time, but instead she was mostly just dealing with different people’s insecurities.

A few days ago, a colleague of mine who deals with a few different Managers as well was very unhappy after having a meeting with the CEO and another Manager and how everything unfolded on that day.

“He threw me under the bus“, were her exact words. Apparently, during the meeting, that particular Manager was blaming her for several unfinished projects, trying to make himself look busy and efficient in front of the CEO.

She is new in the company and that nasty attitude took her by surprise. Little did she know that this Manager had expressed his fear of the CEO multiple times. That particular Manager worked in a different city and during the last few months, his performance had been pretty poor in the eyes of the Boss. The few times he was back to the office he was bombarded by meetings where he was talked down because of his performance. My colleague on that moment was dealing with that manager´s insecurities. She didn´t do anything wrong, but she had to deal with this guy´s fears, anxiety and personal issues.

These type of encounters become a part of many people’s daily life.

The only way to save yourself from allowing your vulnerabilities define you is to be self-aware.

You need to know what makes you act, talk and react the way you do. You are the best person to determine which are your biggest insecurities, what makes you say things you are not happy to say and if there is something that generates a reaction you aren´t proud of. When you see your own weaknesses, you can take care of them and become a better person.

Self-improvement is one of the keys to be happy.

To know yourself is essential in order to grow as an individual. To develop and become a better person will have a positive impact on those around you, but especially in yourself, obviously.

You deserve to feel satisfied. Growing up involves being alive for a longer period of time, but sadly, that doesn’t always imply that you become better. Some people get bitter and resentful as they grow up. The only way to truly improve is to look at yourself in the mirror and decide where to start to get better.

In my next post, I will focus on a few tips to improve yourself as a person. Let me know what are your thoughts and experiences about growing up and becoming an adult!