I don’t like my life and I want to change it, where do I start?

Your life is not perfect. Let’s face it, mine is either. There are just too many things going on in our lives and there is a point when you ask yourself, am I happy?

If the answer is NO, maybe it’s time to start making some changes. You want to improve your life but you are not sure of why or what to do, so let’s start from the beginning.

First things first: there is something wrong in your life and the best way to solve it to find what is missing.

Sounds easy, but most people are afraid to take this first step and that’s often the reason some of them settle with being unmotivated. It’s about writing in a paper the things that are wrong in your life. If you are able to see which are those things, you are one step closer to a better life. This is a moment to be by yourself, with a pen and paper. Try to find out how to fix the damage of the columns that hold your life. Make a list. The first step is identifying the problem, but later on, we will focus on how to fix it.

Ok, let’s make a list of things that can make you dislike your life: 1 I hate my job, 2 I hate my flat/roommates, 3 I can’t stand (name person), 4 I hate my financial situation, 5 I don’t like my body, 6 I am not happy in my relationship…

To this list, we can add billions of things someone could possibly hate about their lives, but these are some of the most common ones. Don’t be afraid, write as many as you want, leave a mark of every single part you dislike about your life.

Now, before getting all the sheets out from the printer, let’s start with one them. Let’s use one paper per problem.

A well as illness, you need to find a problem and treat them or remove them.

So the next step is: dissect them.

You are going to proceed a surgery. The surgery process is the process where you will focus on one problem and then you will dissect it, top to bottom. First, we can start third by finding the reason you hate each of these parts of your life. A good way to start is to ask yourself questions about the problem itself.

Ex: Problem > I hate my current job > what do I hate about the job?

–    Is it the role I have or the company? (In this case, if you happen to hate your company and not your job, go back and write “I hate my company” instead of my job).

–    What’s the part that I hate about my job?

–    Would I be happy with the same job/industry in a different company?

–    Would I be happy with a different job in the same company or industry?

Once you have dissected the problem you will be able to see what’s the main point you need to change. Try to find every single thing you don’t like, this is a great exercise to know yourself better and find the roots of your unhappiness. At the end of the day, you can’t find a solution to your frustration if you don’t take a proper look at the reason that causes it.

Once you know for sure what’s exactly that you hate, let’s try to find out which are the steps you need to take in order to change it.

When you have a proper amount of information, you can make a better decision.

Maybe you want to start a new career you are qualified for. Or perhaps you want to start a career but you don’t have the qualifications you need for it. In that case, you will need some time to study and get to learn and understand everything about the new career you want to start.

In the case you need qualifications, check if it’s possible to start doing online courses about it, start somewhere.

Some of the online courses on the web are great to get an idea of how working in a different market can be. Many of those programs are certified and can help you get a job in the industry you are trying to get in. With that being said, remember to be careful with the online gurus selling you online curses for a ton of money.

Make sure it’s something you want to get started with. Be realistic, don’t back your next movements and actions on unrealistic expectations only because you saw a movie that made the job look cool.

Now that you are qualified, get your CV ready. This is always a pain but is the price to pay if you really want to change careers or your current job. If you can’t stand your company but are happy with your job, try to get your CV ready as soon as possible. Make it look pristine, sell yourself in the best possible way. Get a nice template of a cover letter, personalize each of them for the company you want to enquire and start applying to jobs.

“For what, all jobs are bad anyway”, “There isn’t a perfect job anyway”…I think I’ve heard those type of golden nuggets too much. When I first complained to some relatives about my first job, they told me things like “All jobs are like that”, “It’s the same everywhere”. Now, a few years later, I can’t imagine how miserable I would have felt if I hadn’t changed my situation. When it comes to your happiness, make sure to remember that nobody can tell you how to do it. Happiness works differently for every person.

Something you should remember is that you are the main responsible for your own happiness.

As well as not listening to other’s people opinions, you shouldn’t weight that duty on anybody else. It’s no one’s responsibility to hunt some happy pills for you out there. Once you are completely aware of that reality, it will be easier to feel empowered to exist.

Of course, every job has something you will dislike. Life is never perfect. However, falling with something that is making you unhappy or unmotivated should never be an option. Also, settling with something that doesn’t fulfil you will make you feel like a failure.

In the case you have started applying for jobs, or studying a new subject but aren’t getting positive results yet, it’s still something positive: your mind will feel better. You are not a failure because you are trying to change your current situation and improve your life. That makes a change, even if it’s still not being exteriorized or isn’t giving any results.

This doesn’t apply only to the working world. It applies to personal relationships and many other surfaces of your life. The point is, make sure you know what’s wrong in your life. Study it and find a way to change it.

And maybe sometimes after changing your career, you feel the need to change again. Isn’t that what life is about? Evolving, changing your mind and always keep improving yourself to improve your situation.