What Does Success Really Mean?

You want to achieve success. You know you want to feel successful. We improve ourselves (or try to) in order to get there. We think we are getting closer and on our worst days, we feel far away from it. But, what is Success? Money? The idea of having loads of money and being rich? Fame? The idea some people has of fame? To have many followers on Instagram or a job with a six-figure salary?

Success is a blurred concept that people mention so much but at the same time, nobody can explain what exactly is it? In some previous post, I even wrote some steps to be successful. Then again, what am I talking about when I mention the magic word? First of all, let’s start with the use that society has of the word. Because, at the end of the day, that is the biggest problem with having such an abstract concept. People and companies can use it as they please. They give you directions you have to follow to get something in particular, something you know it’s positive so… It must be good, right? They make you feel there is something out there you are missing, something you desperately need.

Companies sell their own definition of “Success”

They sell their own version of the word success, which is usually related to their product: “Buy this car because successful people have it”. Or “Buy our watches, we design them for successful/confident people”. We are told to “drink certain coffee because that successful actor loves it” but ultimately it won’t make you as successful as he is.

The intention is to make you feel like you and that successful somebody have something in common. “Buy our protein drink and get this successful body”.

Money and a great job?

Our teachers and relatives often make us think that having a degree and a well-paid job is the meaning of success. Then, we grow up to realize that is not as simple as that.

Money. Yes, the lack of money can equal a life of problems and misery, but is easy to see that money is NOT everything. Some rich people, despite having a lot more money than they need can feel depressed and some even commit suicide.

Yes, having money gives you a better lifestyle indeed. Without a proper amount of money, you lack freedom. The freedom you need to quit that job you hate (or don’t love anymore). And still, with money you can feel unsuccessful and confused with your life. Money doesn’t give you everything, but it makes everything easier.

A good job. What is a good job for you? When we are broke students in college, your first full-time job can look like a huge step towards success. Once you get the job, you can find out that it’s probably not what you expected in the first place. Then, you realize that the job is not making you happy, or is not giving you as much money as you would like to. After a few months or years, you might feel like looking for another job, or maybe even a new career. You can switch jobs and start in a new one you like better, but after 2 years you feel the same way. You can also stay at the same job for decades because you feel you like it. But either way, you feel scammed.

All these signals and people giving you directions about how to get to an amazing place, and after following them, you realize that they were not actually sure how to get there because they never really got to see it themselves.

It’s like going on holiday. You paid for an amazing hotel with beautiful facilities. You pay a lot for what it seems to be a room with amazing views, gym and breathtaking views. Once you get there, they give you a dirty room with old mattresses and some depressing views on the parking lot. You complain to the front desk and they tell you that unfortunately, everything else is full.

So, life can be pretty similar to this sometimes, with the difference that you spent several years and lots of effort to get there. Despite your disappointment, it’s impossible to ask for a refund. However, you can try to use it as a lesson and apply everything you have learnt towards your future goals. Starting over again is not a failure. So, start again with a different career, different ideas and more effort. But yet, nothing guarantees that the next destination will be what you wanted it to be, but at least now you know that.

Success as Fame?

If we think about a popular singer/actor, we instantly assume he/she is a successful person. I mean, it makes sense. They have mastered their job to the point of being famous and rich. What else can they ask for? Nowadays, being famous seems to be possible for almost everyone. People create Instagram posts all the time. Getting followers on Instagram is good because it means some people know you. They are interested in you, right? And it’s a fact that the most followed people in platforms get paid for posting on them.

Well, this is the definition of fame:

“The state of being known or talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements”.

Basically, many people know you exist or talks to you because you are really good at something. Doesn’t it sound like a punishment for being good at that particular something? 

Let’s say, you work so hard to master something you like. You get better, you start getting recognized because of that. Then, because of that people start getting interested in your life and what you do. Of course, it never stays on a purely professional level, it always implies people judging you, criticizing your work. You have to face some level of judgement and opinions you probably never wanted and you weren’t ready for. Some famous people have talked about the nightmare that is for them to go out any night and find strangers asking for photos or wanting to befriend them.

And you don’t need to get Hollywood level famous. It’s enough for you to stand out in your company to see some people starting to be opinionated about your work decisions and sometimes even your personal ones. The thing about fame is that it’s supposed to be the result of being good at something. Then, people admire you for that. That’s probably the reason some people associate fame with positive vibes.

In other words, what’s the point of being recognized without exceeding at something?

The desire of being famous comes from the fact that fame is connected to the fact that you are really good at whatever. So, some prefer putting their effort into being famous instead of focusing on mastering something they love.

Happiness as Success

No big news. If you ask random people how do they want to be in a future, many of them will say something about ”being happy”.

This is a term companies also mix up with success. “Get our product and you will be happy and successful”. Or the best one, you will be happy because you will be successful. Makes sense, right? Happiness and Success is something we all want, something that seems to be linked…but not really. Let’s talk about a certain famous designer whose brand sells millions of products over the world, every day. We can tell he is successful. Yet, he is not happy. He feels depressed. Everyone around him just wants him because of his fame or money or both of them. Nobody ever had a genuine interest in his personality and now, despite having an insane amount of zeroes on his bank account, he doesn’t have anybody he can enjoy it with and getting new material items is not that exciting anymore (maybe it never was).

I believe success is related to mastering something you really want to do. Even if you are good at something, you won’t feel successful unless you really like what you are doing. If you are good at painting but it doesn’t make you happy, you will probably feel like a failure somehow. And of course, there should always be a relationship between success and happiness.

Happiness is even more complicated to master. Then again, we are told by different people how to be happy, what to do and what to get. That is useless. Every person has its own way to be happy. My idea of happiness can be the definition of misery for another person. So, why to bother in the first place?

Because you want to feel good about yourself and your life. And let’s say that travelling is what makes you happy. To feel temporarily happy while travelling is not going to be that fulfilling if you are thinking that you have to go back to a workplace you despise. It’s different if you travel and get to the place excited about that new idea you have for your job.

So, success and happiness can be independent of each other, but the most amazing thing would be to combine them. Success and happiness combined are possibly the most desired goals for everyone. And success and happiness as a combination is possible but something extremely hard to get in life. Maybe, if you start working hard on something you like and visualizing the life you want to have, your present situation won’t feel that awful after all. It will feel like a temporary hassle, but something you are working hard to change, and that’s the only way you can actually change your situation for the better.