7 Ways to Avoid Family Dinners at Christmas

With the given date, I can’t stop reading and hearing people talking about how much they hate Christmas dinners. Some people hate the food, some others the company 😊

Easy, I will give you a few examples of how to avoid them, or at least spend less time in there.

1- An old person fell on the street

This one allows you to be late (or very late). You just need to send a message somebody that will be at the dinner, let them know that just in front of you an elder person fell and you had to help him because you were the only one in there. Also, nobody helps people nowadays, they are so self-centered that wouldn’t change their Christmas plans for anything. He/she will let everyone know that you’re going to be late because you are helping another person. The thing is, you will spend less time with them and, also, you will be a hero, that means you may get twice the treats!

2- You are sick

This one is hard to believe so your acting skills have a very important role. You are supposed to act like you are feeling tired and sick. Take paracetamol and be sure everyone sees you taking it. Ask someone if they have some extra paper tissues for you. Blow your nose several times in front of everyone, nobody wants your bacteria all over the table food. Then, after 1 hour, you can start saying something like “I should go in order to preserve your loved ones’ health”.

If you have some stubborn family member that you hate and she/he tries to keep you a few more hours, be soft (if you are sick is credible for you to be soft) and stay. Then, pretend you faint. Try to faint when you are on a sofa, you don’t want to break your head just in order to keep your artistic capacities up. After that, you will be free to go, and possibly the person that tried to make you stay will look very bad 😊

3- Create a WhatsApp group

Add all the family members that will be at the dinner. Now get 3 notes of £50 (if you hate cash you can use more notes of less value, like 4 of £20, or 7 fivers) and take a photo of yourself flexing. If you don’t know how to do it, a good way is to get naked and cover yourself with the money. However, I recommend you to do some research through Google to find some inspirations in order to get your perfect pose. Send them the picture and let them know that you won the lottery, you are a billionaire and you will spend the Christmas in Macau.

Link for inspiration: here

4- It’s raining A LOT in your area

Everything is a Chaos and authorities are alerting people to not to get out because of the weather conditions, just in case. Tell them that you also saw a drone near your home and that could be related. You don’t know how to swim, and you feel very lazy to fight the authorities, the water and your will to not to move.

5- You met the love of your life

Tell them (always with a message, to avoid improvised questions) that you were in your way when you helped a beautiful men/woman with their grocery shopping. You two have the same Zodiac sign, which is essential for you. Now you are dating him/her and things look serious, so it’s better for your relationship to spend the Christmas with that person in order to meet each other enough by the end of the year. Also, it’s still too soon to introduce him/her to the family.

And also, you’re going to prepare a Matcha Souffle together now so you won’t be able to answer the phone in the next few hours.

6- You are now part of a cult

(or a different religion) that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. You wanted to wait for a special occasion to let them know, and now it seems like this is a special occasion for them. It’s a new cult, so they don’t know about it but they are great. You finally find some people with the same interest and beliefs like you, people with a great sense of style and makeup. You are with them now, at a party, and the master is so nice that he is preparing some special mulled wine for all of you to drink it together, at the same time. That’s union right there.

7- The DNA test

The title says it all. You decided to take a DNA test and discover which are your most ancestral roots. Apparently, you are 30% Latin, 20% Viking, 15% Jamaican, 20% Chinese, 5 % Native American, 7 % South African, 3 % Dragon and 100 % Awesome.

So, you are basically everything but their relative.

Guys, Thank you so much for reading and supporting this blog, I hope you all have an amazing Christmas and enjoy your holidays 🙂